Dear Michelle Malkin, Rush Limbaugh and others...

I get it.

You're angry. Believe me i get it. I know EXACTLY how you feel. Pretty much every Liberal Democrat knows exactly how you feel. Just ask them. Seriously. We do, because frankly the anger you're feeling now, the frustration, the infuriation at somebody taking YOUR country and doing something YOU don't like with it is a feeling every democrat (and quite a few non-democrats) is intimately familiar with.

We watched with growing rage and horror for eight very very long years as the country we love and live in got systematically flushed down the shitter in more ways than even we had imagination to devise. If someone had told me nine years ago that our country would toss out the Geneva Convention, Employ torture openly, kidnap citizens of other countries and hold them in unknown camps for indeterminate periods of time without trial or anything i probably would have said that's absurd. I would have said the rule of law would protect against such things. If someone told me we would dutifully march off to war in a country where there was absolutely no evidence of biological or chemical weapons and that country would be accused, irrespective of the heaps of evidence to the contrary, to have ties to a known terrorist organization i would probably have laughed at them.

And this is just the beginning. But i'm not going to go into all of it. I'm just going to say i feel your pain. Really. Truly. I do.

But come on already.

Every day i read about your righteous indignation about this and that and the other thing. I read noxious reports on the possibility of revolution, tea parties, secession, rage rage hysteria some more rage and a little bit of bile, gall and wormwood thrown in for good measure. All directed with as much vim and vigor and enthusiasm as a group of hitler youth tossing copies of the torah into fires. Not saying you're Nazis because as you have clearly established in many of your more interesting posts we liberals are. As we all know we're leading the country to socialism. Which is fascism. I'm still trying to work that out.

Look. Take it from a democrat. It isn't going to do you any good in the long run. It really isn't.

Or heck. Maybe it will. Who knows? Let's just take a moment and reflect on the best possible solution to your (our) current problems. Barack Obama does the right thing and steps down from office - whether this is done through armed insurrection as some have proposed or because someone realizes that he stole the election and is, in fact, Osama Bin Laden in a really clever disguise. Whatever. So. Naturally we give the country back to the conservatives in the personage of Sarah Palin. Of course. I mean, who else is really qualified? Rush Limbaugh isn't even a politician. Mitch McConnell? Only if he could win against Sarah in a cage match and lets face it, that isn't going to happen. The only one with a shot is Dick Cheney and i'm pretty sure Sarah could take him though it would be a good fight worth at least $100.00 on pay per view.

From there we have much rejoicing. Everyone (except those damned Fascist Socialist Marxist Stalinite Trotskyists of course but who cares what they think - whoever they are.) celebrates. Schools close in an outpouring of joy, and so we can have enough time to purge them of their FSMST's which is everybody. Labor unions immediately take a hike so we can get on with the business of running America seriously without interference. Who needs those guys anyway?

Alright. Now that we got the labor unions gone and the teachers gone and alot of little kids running around we've got to do something with them. We sure as hell won't educate them, because well. Why? It's not like they're going to use it anyway and lets face it most of 'those' kids aren't worth the money to educate. It's my money anyway and i don't have kids so why would i spend my money on anyone elses kids? I know! Let's put them to work. Hell. It even makes sense. Seeing as kids are, what, a fourth of a person you can pay them a fourth as much, right? So right there you can stave off any of our good american money making companies from going overseas.

Problem solved. We're off and running. What? What abou those Fascist Socialists? Well. They won't cause much of a fuss really. After all they're a bunch of unamerican hippy swine. They didn't even take the second amendment seriously enough to buy guns to protect themselves against us. So. Problem solved. What are they going to say to us? Gee, please don't do this? Nah. They won't say much at all. They will lapse into their snivelling whininess that we all know they do and they will be quiet. If they aren't quiet, of course, we send them where the teachers went. Someplace else. Maybe Canada.

The environment - What environment? God gave it to us so we're going to use it. Global warming? Our scientists have proven that it doesn't exist and the scientists that prove that it does exist, no longer exist. So that takes care of that.

International Affairs. Oh that's easy too. Anybody who pisses us off gets stomped. We are America after all, the Best Damned Country Ever In the History Of Anything EVER. And if you don't agree we'll smash something. We're good at smashing things. It makes us happy. And none of this silly talking stuff. We don't do that. We don't shake hands with people. We don't say nice things to our enemies. Nope. That's not our way. We smash.

And finally to economics. We have a great idea about that. Yeah the economy is in the shitter which is clearly the fault of those fascist socialist trotskyite capitalists so once we get rid of them, well, there will be more space - more houses available and more jobs for the good americans. So that solves the jobless issue. As for money? Well. Now that we have those guys going back to work, and their kids, and the unions are gone everybody can happily work 15 hours a day - taxable of course, which will go to running what little government there is. (cause what need do we have for that except to buy more guns to stomp those we don't like) Those tax revenues that are left will, naturally, go to those people who provide the 15 hour a day jobs so that they can provide more 15 hour a day jobs to more kids, i mean people. Obviously someone will have to have money to buy the things that the 15 hour a day worker produces so its also a good thing to keep those folks fairly flush with cash, don't you think? I do.

So there you go. I like it. You know i think i'm starting to come around to this idea. It just might work.

So keep up the anger. Protest. Buy more bullets. Have tea parties. If a democrat dares to say something like 'the sky is blue' today tell them it's red or better yet shoot them. Whatever you do, of course, do not engage them in conversation, don't try to be patient, don't listen, and don't think about it, and do not offer any ideas. That's just what we want you to do. Give us only your anger and confusion and frustration. Do not attempt being productive - that's playing right into our plans. Just sit and stamp your feet and eventually we'll come around.

Seriously?

P.S. Yeah, i'm wordy as hell. Sorry. Not to mention - first shot out of the box and i come up with this less than kind diatribe. Again. Sorry. Particularly to those of my friends who might find this and happen to be conservatives. You know me and you are aware that this is not directed at you but more at those bloviating twits who spew hot air and not much else. I have a great deal of affection for good discussion on issues even from a conservative viewpoint but i get a little tired of the constant, mundane, horror of most of the commentators out there.

All the grimy beautiful things that aren't fit to print...

...will probably be discussed here. I've decided, after much brutal thought, that this here bloggy thing will be the repository of thought, reflection, philosophy, opinion and other doggerel that people so enjoy ruminating over. The idea is that i'll try and actually discuss issues and so forth so it has the distinct potential of being a bit contentious, which is always fun - don't you think? 'Cuz we human beings don't have nearly enough contention to contend with.

The basic idea is that i will try and be considerate and reasoned in my opinions with just a soupcon of righteous indignation tossed in here and there as seasoning. That said the order of the day will be satire. I like satire. Unless it is brutally cruel, in which case not so much.

So. Before i begin eviscerating all that sucks in this world let me fill you in on a few details about me so you don't have to read the earlier posts from long ago.

First - I am a liberal. Whatever that means. In fact i don't actually believe in a liberalism or a conservativism. In fact 'ism's', in my opinion, are just an appendage we put on something when we want to seperate it from everything else only we know we can't. So there you go. My first contentious thought. Not so bad is it? But when speaking of trains, trails, rivers, streams and tributaries of thought it seems fairly routine to have a name for things and seeing as i don't have time right now to invent a language we'll go with 'liberal' to describe my train of thought. Or river. Or Tributary. Or something that travels along a certain trajectory.

Getting the hang of this yet? It's really not so bad.

Anyway. I bring this up because you'll find alot of the usual liberal ramblings in here, hopefully done with a little more panache and a bit more reason than you're used to. BUT if you cannot stomach the ideology at all and prefer to fly off the handle in irrational tirades of relative injustice either from a Liberal or Conservative viewpoint this is probably not the blog you want to read. I shall be the final arbiter of what is neurotic hysteria and you shall be duly ignored. This is your notice.

Second thing you should know: I consider myself a buddhist. Which (see above) is just another word someone whipped up for something and which actually means very little. But it is generally illustrative of the point i come up with. You may well say i have feet. True, but so utterly obvious that it is barely worth mentioning. I mention it, again, because it might help the reader understand the perspective.

Third, there will be, in due course, some ramblings and irrational bullshit posted by me periodically. Take no notice of the guy behind the curtain. He's probably just having a rotten day. It happens to everybody and i notice from time to time that my thoughts are anything but coherent and are occasionally given to transports of emotion that don't generally engender good opinions in people of opposing viewpoints.

So that's it. Now. Go out and tell all your friends about this great new blog you're about to start following with breathless anticipation. 'Cuz really i need the ego boost. Oh. Wait. No i don't.

If you should choose to comment - and i really enjoy a good discussion - please do so and enjoy. This is for everyone, really, and i hope to have the entire reading audience sing a rendition of kumbaya very soon - in unison - globally.

It's new, shiny and plastic, and oh so very expensive!!!

It has been quite a long time since my last post on this 'ere bloggy thingamawhatsit. Much has happened - none of which will i regale you with, so there. My bid'ness is my bid'ness and that's that. I figure i've already said too much about some of it on this blog already. Nothing like ripping out your own bleeding heart and presenting it to the world while it's still pumping and saying 'come on, people - love it. It's so cute and red and oh my goodness there seems to be something wrong with it, cause its not flopping the way it used to.'

All i will say to this end is that i have successfully transplanted it back into my body and made a few adjustments so that it works a hell of a lot better than it ever did before. It's like cybernetic or something! Okay, more like i have actually fixed the defects and it now simply functions properly. This dangerous and expensive procedure should probably have been performed ages ago but due to budgetary constraints on my intelligence which prioritized it somewhere behind a grilled cheese sandwich for breakfast it hadn't been done and then, much like everything in a governmental system, was only tended to well after it had blown up.

Anyway. So. Why post now? You will all say. All of you. Come on. Say it. (crickets chirp, the odd tumbleweed drifts past) No good reason actually.

I have written a screenplay. Yay!!! (and for all of you who know me [again with the tumbleweed, a crow caws in the vast expanse] you may say, okay - how much of this alleged screenplay) Answer: The whole darned thing! The thing about writing the screenplay that i learned is that i love writing. I mean really. The act of typing on a keyboard is sort of like playing the piano or singing. (one of which i can sorta do and the other is a totally cool mystery to me) After finishing the screenplay - which is actually in the final stages of the final edit right now - i just went on a kick of screenplays. I have seven of them in the works right now in various stages and ideas for new ones just keep popping up in my head. Sometimes they are screenplay ideas and sometimes they are just the odd, random, somewhat clever thought about the days events.

Seeing as it's pretty difficult to jot down the odd random days events in Screenwriting format and seeing as a screenwriting formatting program is the only available word processor i have these days, i have decided to get back into the whole blogging thing. What the hell, huh? Join the masses!

So. I guess you could say this blog is sort of the reboot, in more ways than one. That is not to say i won't write some of the more philosophical stuff that i promised ALL of you earlier, but i can honestly say it probably isn't going to be of the same vein as before - cause let's face it the psychological stuff is my business. I am and must be my own therapist so thanks for listening to my crap but that's all there is.

Oh! And i will actually have artwork and links to some of the screenplay stuff as they become available. Basically it'll be you average run of the mill blog but hopefully enjoyable for all.

So there you go. Too bad my head is sorta empty right now or i would start with something really clever and interesting but nope. It's not there. Oh well. I'm off to sit on a pillow.